One of the things I love most about dreams is how vivid they can be. While in them, you’re certain that what’s going on is reality, and the strangest things seem oddly normal. Take last night, for example.
My dream took place in an office building, where I was the secretary (when in actuality, I work as a teacher, in a school). I was wearing a very revealing shirt and skirt (totally NOT my usual attire, especially once I turned 22. Okay, 23.) and my hair was in really big bouncy curls. Oh. And my chest was, well, a bit different than in real life. I walked up to my boss, who was an older man, and talked with him for a few minutes, before walking to the restroom.
The boss followed me inside wearing only boxers (as though that’s a normal thing to wear around an office) with something NOT GOOD on his mind. There was a scuffle, and I was able to escape. Once I returned the main office, I confronted him. He denied my allegations, but I held my ground. I turned and watched as people all around me (both women and men) raised their hands in solidarity. They had also been harassed by my imaginary boss. In fact, three people had been so disturbed by the harassment, they had injured themselves, and all in the same way.
(This is where it gets super weird. Wait for it…)
Each one had gone into the employee lounge, taken a trifle dish (you know, the ones that are used to served those beautiful layered desserts), and smashed it against their head.
At this point, I’m thinking there are probably three camps of people out there who are reading this post:
- 1.) The people who know me well and are now starting to wonder about my sanity
- 2.) The people who know me well and are now starting to think I’m actually more interesting than you realized
- 3.) The people who don’t know me at all personally, and know me only through this blog
I will now address each of these groups individually.
First, to those of you who are considering distancing yourself from me because you now think I have a screw loose, allow me to explain. I always think back to the day or days before a dream to see if I can figure out where the craziness came from. Here is what I have come up with:
- office building, male boss, revealing clothing, and (ahem) physical appearance = I’m a Chelsea Handler fan and recently borrowed the newest Chelsea book, Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me from one of my best friends, Mel (insert shameless plug to attempt to get new readers from my group of friends who technically, already should be reading this blog to support me) graciously allowed me to borrow. In the book, you learn about all of the (excuse my language) crazy shit that Chelsea does to her family, friends, and coworkers. Yesterday, I read Brad Wollack’s chapter. In each chapter, the writers can usually be expected to comment on a few things: Chelsea’s ex-boyfriend Ted (CEO of E!, older man, Chelsea’s boss), her enormous chest, and the crazy pranks she pulls in the office. One of the pranks Brad talked about was a sexual harassment prank (which I won’t go into further, you’ll just have to read the book). Obviously, this is where those attributes of my dream came from.
- people injuring themselves = This possibly came from the fact that I was watching The Bachelorette last night. Ashley took the guys on the group date Thai boxing. (Which, truly, was her worst idea since having them roast her. I mean, come on, Ashley.) I watched as the 8 bachelors wailed on each other, then saw Ames being driven away by the rescue squad. Then, Bill Randby (Omaha KETV weatherman) broke in to talk about the “wind event” that was speeding rapidly toward Omaha. The fact that I wanted to Thai box Bill Randby was only lessened when our power went out, and I was left with a big question mark on the second half of the Bachelorette (What happened on William and Ben C.’s 2-on-1 date??? The preview showed her throwing the rose into the fire!) and Thai boxing on my mind. Clearly, that had to account for the people in my dream injuring themselves.
- trifle dish = We got together at Uncle Marty and Aunt Marianne’s for Father’s Day on Sunday and someone brought a chocolate trifle for dessert. I didn’t have any, and I regretted it. Thus, the trifle dish in my dream.
Next, to those of you who now find me more interesting… I am interesting. Super interesting. You didn’t even realize how incredibly interesting I can be. And now that you know, I am certain you’ll want to spend more time with me. June’s been pretty busy, but July looks like it has some free time. Let me know where you’d like to take me and I’ll work it in.
Finally, to those of you who only know me through this blog, thank you! Thank you for reading my blog because you want to, and not only because I have guilted you into it (Dave, you’re my husband. If anyone should be reading my blog, it’s you! Every time I post! Come on!).
The vividness of dreams is what makes them so ________. Terrifying (even though the next day when you try to describe how frightening it was, it just sounds stupid), exciting, sensual, heartbreaking, the list goes on. It’s so easy to wake up and describe, in detail, what the setting looked like, how you felt, the characters, etc. As a writer, this is how I need to write. I want my readers to be able to visualize my story in the same way that you can visualize a dream the next day.
And if I ever decide to write a mystery, you can expect the murder weapon to be a trifle dish.
***I’d love to hear comments about some of YOUR strangest dreams!